Bacon, sausages, and lotsa love (best sandwich evah!!one!11eleven!)

So here we go, on this great recipe on how to get a damn tasty sandwich without paying that OMFGWTFKTHXBBQ price we usually get on normal fast-food stuff. And best part… It’s even MORE SIMPLE (since you don’t need to leave home)!! Remember you can multiply all the ingredients so you get a “storage” for more sandwiches, and some of them will come (obviously) on packs so try to buy it all in quantities for a fixed number. For this particular recipe, you don’t need to buy high quality products, as they will taste the same in the end, so go cheap on it!

1 breadstick around 30 cm long (it is highly recommended that you buy pre-cooked bread, that still needs to go to the oven; it lasts longer and you will be eating a cooked-in-the-minute bread), 1 pack of bacon strips, 1 can of sausages, 1 tomato, 1 lettuce, a can of sweet corn, 1 pack of chips (optional; leftovers will do too) and sauce at disposal (recommend ONLY ketchup).

1st min: Start by turning on your oven to 200ºC (between medium and max). Leave in the oven it’s cooking grid and it’s cooking metal plate (unless you don’t mind drops of fat rolling on your oven). While it is warming up, put 2 bacon strips and 3 sausages (sliced long) in the grid, along with the bread (if uncooked). Close the oven, and move to the balcony. Cut tomato in slices (as you like) or in pieces or whatever. Wash the lettuce (2 leafs will do).

10th min: Open oven, cut bread in half (do NOT cut it too deep, if both top and bottom of it get separated, you will have serious troubles on eating it, and might get mad enough to throw everything to your computer/window/mother), re-introduce bread, close oven.

12th min: Turn oven off. Place lettuce on the bread, fully covering it. Than place tomato. Than the sausages. Than the sauce. Than the chips. Than the corn. Than the bacon.

Now, it’s normal that you can’t close your sandwich, it’s supposed to be eaten progressively in 2 bites, and not one. Leave the opening of the bread to the top, and don’t worry about the bacon falling down, at least it’s easy to grab back to the sandwich.

Now don’t dare saying it isn’t simple, or delicious, or cheap. Hmmm oh well you can dare actually. Enjoy it.

[side note: since it requires pieces of allot of ingredients I'd recommend inviting someone over to eat with you, or making a simple salad to go with it (just join some lettuce leafs, corn and tomato)]

Fked up cookin’…

Well, after beating the World of Warcraft obstacle (account frozen ‘^^), the lazy spirit, the classes and well, basically all that could stop me, I came back for the big pans and ovens, to find out that sometimes, your imagination ain’t enough. For the first time I had a messed-up experience, that had a pretty bad result. So… Still no recipe.

Tomorrow… Maybe some old thoughts will come back to my hands, and I’ll start working… For now… Frozen pizza,… again.

Don’t loose your hope, this blog is far from terminated.

Pasted codfish (ctrl-v?)

Here it goes, a recipe for 2 meals (and some leftover for dinner ^^):

A wooden spoon, a pan for cooking the pasta,  another one for the codfish, a frying pan and some music to inspire you (: [recommended: Type o Negative -  (We Were) Electrocute].

1/4 pasta pack (curly as obvious…).

100g of already steeped codfish (in case it ain’t previously steeped, keep in water for 2 days in the refrigerator).

4 eggs.

1 tomato.

1 chorizo (if you don’t know what it is, than you have no idea on what you’ve been loosing).

1st min: Start boiling half pan of water, with olive oil covering the base of the pan and a tea spoon of bay salt.

8th min: Every thing’s boiling, so join in the codfish on one of the pan’s, and the pasta on the other one. Set the fire to the minimum on the pasta and medium on the codfish. Cover the pans but not fully, leave it open 3 fingers wide.

33th min: Spill 1 tea spoon of olive oil over the frying pan, let it warm up for some 30 seconds, and then spill the 4 eggs. As they fry,  scramble them using your wooden spoon. Take it out of the fire the minute there’s no liquid egg.

35th min:  Every thing’s set. Grab it all out, mix it up, join the tomato cut in really small parts (1cm diameter), as the chorizo.

And there you go. It tastes great, looks great, and it’s damn simple (no great calories included ^^). The hardest part is on understanding if your codfish is fully cooked or not, but the times said above should be more than enough. And that’s all, have a nice meal, and… Well… This one is dedicated to our dear Filipa Gouveia, for obvious reasons, right Killercod? xD

OMG….OMFG!!

(for local visitors only….)

Perderam-se papeis com 2 receitas, assim como um mail com 3…. Aos caríssimos utilizadores que os encontrarem… Favor notificar o je, que isto tá a ficar cheio de teias.  xD

Because everything has a DAMN LIMIT!!

Sometimes, to chill out, I hang over a friend’s place, a friend that we don’t want to make “look bad”, so we’ll call “Thrustmaster” (a completely random name, obviously ^^). Now… This friend has a dark tendency to completely ignore what goes around the whole house, EXCEPT the little centimeters of his keyboard, monitor, and let’s say, mouse pad. “The results!”, you might ask…. Here they are:

Some beef steak…

Pasta…

Sliced cheese (or fungus culture…?)…

And pizza!

Christ… Don’t try this at your home! Guess I don’t need to feel so frustrated now, for not having harvested any bacterias on my lab cultures… These fungus make it up for a thousand cultures! Yikes! Obvious to state that I spent the next hour and half cleaning up the whole mess, witch include around 8 pizza boxes, and some 14 coke cans. And after that… We had a nice decent (in a clean kitchen) meal! (:

EDITED: New updates on fungus/bacteria cultures:

Another *cough* cheese piece…

And delicious pineapple!

Guinea Pig still needed!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I’M GETTING MAD!!!!!

If I don’t see YOU volunteering, I’m gonna hunt you down, and TEAR YOU APART!!!

Comment this, and accept your mission soldier!!

GOGOGOGO!

Guinea Pig needed!!

I got a recipe on a tuna salad, those sauces you put on sandwiches. The thing looks amazingly good, and tasty… Problem is… I hate mayonnaise. And I mean hating with all my strength and will. Therefore… I am officially looking for someone interested in being object of this experiment. The payout: Tasty tuna sauce!!

Please… If you like Mayonnaise and tuna… Volunteer. Lazycooking needs you!

As some Apache’s would say… “Fire Water is good medicine!!”

Awkward post. Didn’t even know where to put it, there’s no special category for “street medicine”… So I guess it will fit over the drinks.

Man… I was starving… Thrustmaster shared that feeling over that evening with me… So we decided to grab some junk over the nearest Mac… And guess what… My cheeseburger was probably the oldest on the line, so it SUCKED AS EVER BEFORE!

Very strangely, my stomach didn’t stand for it, so the sickness begun. Felt like throwing up would probably be the best solution… Got over my place, “burp” here and there, and standing next to my balcony planned a tea, or just some antacid tablets… When, as a little whispering voice, my mind thought: “Vodka“. I instantly LOL’ed at that, but thought… The heck with it, why not, worst case I throw up what wouldn’t be actually that bad… Had a little leftover that’s probably old as hell, but it’s alcohol, so never too old… Had a gulp of it… And guess what… The sickness went all away. Felt like new, no more symptoms, even felt like eating a bit of fruit!

Heck I dunno why this happened… Maybe the thing has basis behavior… It’s possible… I’ll get some pH measuring string over my lab and test it… Whatever point is, it was almost instant and no sacrifices included… Ain’t that good to know?? ^^

Fruit (portuguease because eh.. I’m portuguease) salad.

Shouldn’t require recipe I know, but the quantities are not obvious… Whatever I don’t need to explain why I write here anyways..

I used these fruits, cause they’re easy to get around, and to prepare, and used the proportions cause usually the fruit always have allot of apple or other stuff we don’t like as much… So any other fruit can be added, at the same proportion (ie, 6 of it in this case).

6 apples, 6 oranges, 3 kiwis, one can of pineapple and a fruit soda.

Cut the apples in 4, kinda like making a cross on top. Than, take out the middle part and peal it off. Cut in small pieces (around the size of beans)

Cut the oranges in multiple parts horizontally (whatever thickness you want) and then slice all the circles like it was pizza

Peal the kiwis and cut them like the oranges

Grab half of the pineapple from the can, and just cut them like the oranges (except you will already have the circles)

Add the soda to the fruit salad. This way you’ll have a tasty sauce and the conservatives of the soda will help your salad last much longer!

DO NOT ADD SUGAR. Unless you like sugar allot, and not fruit-salad, where you should be eating sugar spoons instead of having all this work.

Done. Eat it. And please… Don’t get lazy and use the fruit salad as if it was a dinner, it’s a DESSERT (see the Category…??)… Blahh… You’ll probably do it anyways… Everyone does it.

Shot [sK]

Tagged [sK] after the clan (http://clansk.50megs.com/), this shit is deadly. And I really mean it. sK for Silent Killers… And for Christ-sake if it isn’t silent and killer… Always tastes softer than it actually is. It’s easy shit. Great part is that it uses equal proportions, so it’s advised for a large group (8-10 folks) as bottles can be easiest bought.

One bottle of Absinthe, Vodka,  Gold-Strike, four cans of Red Bull (or other energizing drink), one pack of m&m’s and some 4 tangerines.

Easier if you use a bottle of water for the mix. Than just drink it all night (or day) long, pass it to friends, put it on glasses, whatever. Oh and rest in peace… You will get pwned by this shit.

Mix the 4 different drinks in proportions of 25% each

If served in a glass, put one of the m&m’s on the glass after adding the drink

Grab two pieces of the tangerine

Drink the shit

Eat the tangerine (believe me, you need it… the pure absinthe doesn’t help at all… and I like absinthe)

One should get you happy… Two will get you dizzy… Four will get you drunk. Unless you’re too unnatural. Oh and use EXACLY those proportions, or the drink will suck.